Im offically depressed....I really don't know what to do about my relationship with Javier...it makes me so damn mad that when i first met him how we talked about our goals and how we both we're eager to have children... I even remember him saying he wanted to get married soon and all this bullshit well here i am now a year and a half later and he doesn't even want to get a house just me and him. That kind of pisses me off because its like...why should i put my dreams on hold for you?? It makes me sad too especially today when i thought i was pregnant and all of a sudden i get my period...its like I pray and pray but there is no use...any sugguestions on what to do?
4.12.08
30.11.08
this mother fucker just pisses me off!! I think i'm going crazy sometimes....he threw beer all over my shit..fucked me over last night and still i'm expecting something from his dumbass?? i don't know like an i'm fuckin sorry or without u im not sane type of romantic shit that i know i will NEVER get out of him?? Fawk then i look at him and i think of the night before when i layed in my bed waiting for his dumbass to show up!!
12.11.08
Solo Existe Un Amor
H: esta bien bebe
23.10.08
A veces es mejor ignorar el corazon...
Todavia estoy arrepentida....porque todavia llevas en mi mente??
Fuck i'm suprised i've even had time to write down this blog with my busy life...but whose isn't busy ey? I have writting this down before thinking maybe the memory would go away...but no....why can't i make his existence disappear? I have my boyfriend this is what i choose right? I had Hektor or Javier and I picked Javier as i always do...but it doesn't make Hektor go away....especialment cuando siento que tengo ninguna persona a hablar con....im just all fucked up in the head, and he seemed to be the only one to understand or help me...especially when i needed it the most....
Ahora mis amigas estan enojadas conmigo px no fui a la baile por el cumpleanos de Carolina. No entienden que tengo mussssshoooo problemas con mi Familia, y tambien es raro pero durante Nov, Dec, y Enero siempre algo paso que no quiero ir a las bailes no mas...me hacen infeliz...como un recordatorio de los buenos tiempos...Por ejemplo cuando tenia 16 an0s deje de ir para la culpa de Angel..el segundo ano por la culpa de este guey Jesusita..y ahora porque ya este vez me duele un pinchi chingo me corazon......pero en el mismo tiempo despues que no fui por mucho tiempo me encontre que el mismo lugar es la unika lugar tengo para escapar....pos quien sabe?? No mas deseo para k alguien a hablar con....
I wish i could make Hektor disappear...pero no se como....con cada cancion...cada piensamento...cuando estoy sola en las noches.. todo me recuerdo de el...deseo ke podria cambiar todo pero ya sabes que no puedo...