Hurt

I knew it would come to this...but i wasn't prepared. My head was strong on letting you go...but my heart has never been weaker. See the last month Javier has gotten himself into some real deep shit with this drug abuse. Finally its came to him losing his job and yesterday when i got off work he had taking all his things from the apartment and left me with nothing but a text message saying : "I lost my job sorry im leaving." And like that he was gone, and just like that my heart began to feel ten thousand different emotions.

I hate him for leaving me like that. I should of went n stayed with my mom but el tonta corazon estava pensando ke el iba a regressar pa abrazarme one last time. I hate him because he left me like that for people who will never care for him the way i do. I hate he can't see the self disctruction he's caused to himself and that he can't be a man and overcome it.

But i'm sad, my heart hurts so bad... nunka he tenido el corazon tan quebrado. No se como seguir adelante sin el a mi lado. How am i gonna tell my son that his dad isn't here, how do i do it alone... and how do u forget someone you've gave your whole heart to. How do forget that they ever existed or how do you feel the emptiness.

I don't know how to go on alone but i know its possible.... i keep hearing the song play over in my head ..."ke dios me llevantara". I know everything is possible through god... i am just so hurt that all my dreams have been flushed down the drain and that everynight i will stay up waiting to here him come through the door. Everymorning i will wake up thinking i will see him lying on the couch and he won't be here. I will never feel his touch on my skin or have his arms wrap around me. Those little and few moments of happiness were not enough for me.... why did the devil do this to me... why did he take the person i love the most... when will i be able to forget this...